


in a sky full of stars (i think i saw you)

by strictlysaccharine



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Coldplay References, Ricky's POV!, aged up to college, but I hope you like it!!!, first time really forcing myself to write!, i don't know how to do this, so this is not good, stars and stuff lol, wink wonk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strictlysaccharine/pseuds/strictlysaccharine
Summary: Ricky's never been a big fan of space, but it only takes one look at Nini's eyes for that to change.--or, straight Rini fluff from the inner machinations of my mind
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	in a sky full of stars (i think i saw you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hellllloooo
> 
> This has been in the works for over a month, which is....embarrassing considering I told myself I was only going to spend a week on it. BUT this is the first thing I've written that I have actually ever finished (and been somewhat happy with)!!! I haven't written a creative piece in years so I really don't know how it came out or what to make of it but I hope you enjoy it!! 
> 
> Also this is literally just...fluff. Like sickly sweet fluff so I'm sorry if that's not your thing but my poor Rini heart lives for it...also embarrassing... watery eyes emoji 
> 
> Pls let me know what you think, and what you liked and what you didn't like and what I should work on for the future (although I'll be real with u... I don't know if I'll ever be able to see something like this to fruition ever again LOL). Feel free to also just totally eviscerate me if u please because I am genuinely curious to hear what people think!! 
> 
> And special special thank you to my sweets Chloe (@ataharcot) for reading this over for me and for basically encouraging me to continue this and post it and for being so supportive!!! She is just the best. Wink wonk. 
> 
> <3

Even if he hadn’t known it at the time, Ricky had fallen completely in love with Nini that night they sat together in Red’s backyard, the night they set their gazes to the sky as they talked about the stars. Of course, he had already been falling in love with her long before then, but he didn’t know that either. But that night, he had fallen completely, utterly, hopelessly, in love with her.

They were celebrating the end of the school year with the rest of their friends. Three years of college had flown by so quickly, and people who were once strangers became great friends so close that they knew they wouldn’t live the rest of their lives without any one of these people by their sides.

“Hey do you wanna go outside to cool down a little bit?” Ricky nodded as he and Nini wandered outside, sitting at the top of the steps of the back patio at Red’s childhood home. Everyone else was still inside, buzzed from not only on the copious amounts of alcohol EJ insisted on buying, but also on each other’s company, despite the fact that the game of _Charades_ they had all just finished playing had gotten everyone a little too heated. Even though every one of them was more competitive than the last and their game nights were taken extremely seriously, they all would still insist it was just friendly competition.

The group had all met at UCLA’s freshman orientation, where they somehow all managed to get placed on the same kickball team when a couple of orientation leaders had insisted on playing during one of the week’s many “mixers”. The “mixers” were essentially just breaks in the overpacked schedule that focused on specifically trying to get students to socialize through a variety of different activities. The _New Student Association_ thought it would be a better way to force the freshmen to interact than typical icebreakers. Whether or not it was better is debatable (Carlos would say definitely not).

Fate, or Darren, the over-excited, overzealous OL that everyone seemed to hate as much as they adored, had plucked the friends out from the mishmosh of students lingering on the quad and brought them all together. Darren had hardly given them a chance to agree to play before he was dragging them over to the makeshift field he had set up in the corner of the quad. The 9 of them stood awkwardly in their positions that he had assigned to them when they took the field as the other team was batting. The first batter had kicked the ball square in Seb’s face, causing blood to gush from his nose and Kourtney to shriek in terror as blood trickled onto his white shirt. EJ had fainted from the sight of blood smeared on the side of Seb’s cheek, but luckily Ricky was close enough to him to spring to action and catch his fall when he saw the boy’s knees wobble. With this being the first of many mishaps from that game of kickball, they thought it more than safe to assume that they were off to a bad start.

Yet despite the numerous setbacks, the team of strangers somehow ended up winning the game with Ashlyn making the winning run and EJ and Seb cheering from the sidelines, orange juice and ice pack in their hands respectively. Afterwards, they all settled together on the grass and got to know each other better. That’s where Nini, Ricky, and Red first found out that they shared common ground in Salt Lake City.

Despite the fact that they all lived within 20 minutes of each other, they had all gone to different schools: Red to a private all boys school (he was a legacy student, as his father, 3 uncles, and grandfather had all gone there) and Nini and Ricky to the two rival public high schools, East and North High.

At first Nini and Ricky hadn’t really gotten along, arguing for a good 2 weeks about which school was better, making sure to always find a way to bash the other school while they elevated their own. Ricky remembered how the biggest arguments they had about their schools revolved namely around their academic curriculum and their sports teams. When Nini boasted that East High’s boy’s lacrosse team had the longest winning streak of any school in the greater Salt Lake Area, Ricky complained that he himself would have broken their streak had one of the boys from East not fouled him in a playoff game, causing him to sprain his ankle and be forced to sit out the rest of the game. She had actually admitted that she was at that particular game and did remember the foul; she more specifically remembered how the boy, who just so happened to be Ricky, was cursing everyone and their mother out as he was carried off the field by two teammates.

“Were you even _in_ any clubs?” he had asked her at the end of their first official week of college. They had just gotten out of the sociology class they shared, where they spent the better part of the class period arguing over which school had more after-school clubs via the shared Google Doc she had created for note taking (An upperclassman had told Nini that it could be helpful for note taking purposes to create a Google Doc if you share a class with a friend. Although her and Ricky weren’t exactly friends at that point, she figured it couldn’t hurt and roped him into it).

Ricky himself had only been a part of one club, being that playing for nearly every sports team at North High took up all of his time. He never really thought of himself as a jock, he just enjoyed being active and playing for his school, but Nini would tease him for it anyway, saying he must have loved all of the attention he got from being the only kid in his school to play for every single sports team. Ricky would just shake his head at her, not wanting to admit that he did get some street cred for that. Nini on the other hand wasn’t into sports, having been scarred for life from the time she took a soccer ball to the face in the 3rd grade. Once she had told him that she’d sworn off sports, he wondered what she was involved in.

Their little feud ended as soon as she told him that she had the very important title of “Principal Pianist” (really the only pianist) in East High’s official orchestra. He told her that despite the fact he was exceptionally talented at guitar ( _“Cocky much, Ricky?”_ ), his first love was the piano. So as he listened to her talking about her favorite chord progressions, any inklings of any kind of animosity dissipated into respect and admiration for the nice, pretty girl from the rival school, and they’d been very close friends ever since.

The two of them would visit their favorite cafe right outside of campus on Tuesdays and Thursdays to do school work and study for their respective classes, with Ricky always picking up a matcha latte for Nini on Tuesdays and her a blueberry muffin for him on Thursdays. They hadn’t missed one study session despite the fact that these sessions were arguably not very efficient, as they often did more talking than studying at said sessions. One of the things Ricky liked most about Nini was he felt he always had something to talk about with her. They talked about everything; conspiracy theories and the merits of a good cupcake and what dinosaurs could have actually looked like (Nini had wanted to be a paleontologist when she was younger).

And they went on adventures together too. When they could, they would go on hikes and visit the aquarium. They had gone to Disneyland together a few times as well. However, Ricky’s favorite thing to do with Nini was go on little road trips around California. Coming to California from Salt Lake often felt like a cultural shock, especially after the two of them had always dreamed about going out to California, attracted by the allure of the warm weather and “good vibes” that is always associated with _The Golden State._

They had made trips to San Diego and Santa Barbara, and one time, when they had a long weekend off from school, they got up at 4 in the morning and made the nearly 6 hour drive to San Francisco, blasting Taylor Swift’s old country songs with the windows down almost the entire ride there. They ended the day eating strawberry mochi as they watched the sunset behind the Golden Gate bridge, tired from the long drive and day (and the inevitable 6 hour drive back), but also elated, having had such a great time in each other’s company.

One of the best things Ricky would say came out of his college experience was getting to be such good friends with some of the greatest people he had ever met, Nini being one of them. Ricky would be the first to admit that some of the greatest memories he had from college so far were all made with Nini. He loved all of his friends, they were the closest and greatest friends he had ever had, but he had always had a special soft spot for Nini. For the person she was, for the mind that she had, and for the heart that she shared with others.

Right now, he watched with an amused smile on his face as Nini sighed dramatically, laying her back down on the wood floor of the patio and closing her eyes in the process. She peeked one eye open to look up at him in his upright position before patting the empty space beside her, indicating for him to come down next to her. He happily obliged. The wood felt cool against the heat of the back of his neck, which was an after effect of the combination beers EJ had shoved in his hands earlier, and the humid air that often comes along right during the transition from the spring to summer seasons.

Ricky had just let his eyes lightly fall shut when Nini gasped loudly, causing his whole body to jump and his eyes to shoot open quickly.“Ricky! Ricky, look! It’s the Big Dipper!” she exclaimed a bit too excitedly, sitting up so quickly that the alcohol in her system made her lose her balance slightly, causing her to fall sideways on top of Ricky’s torso. He let out a quiet _“oof_ ” as her elbow came in contact with his stomach. She quickly righted herself up. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”

Ricky had noticed early on in their friendship that she could be a bit of a klutz in her day to day life, continuously dropping things, bumping into people, and tripping over her own two feet. When she had a few drinks in her, these tendencies only increased.

“Jeez, Nini,” he teased as he rubbed over his stomach. She gave him a sheepish smile and a mere shoulder shrug before shifting her attention back to the night sky. He shifted his own gaze from her side profile to look up, squinting to try to find the constellation. “Uh, are you sure you see the Big Dipper? I don’t see it.”

“What? No, it’s definitely there. You’re not looking hard enough.”

She scooted even closer to him, positioning her head right next to his. Their faces were so close that Ricky could feel the slightest whisper of her soft cheek graze against his own and the smell of her sweet perfume. Nini lifted her right arm in the little space between them to help guide his eyes to the constellation, and despite her attempts at helping, it still took a whole minute for him to finally see that the constellation was in fact visible.

“Huh,” he said when he finally spotted The Big Dipper. “Would you look at that?” Nini remained silent and Ricky nudged her shoulder when he noticed she was quite literally staring off into space. She’s always been a contemplator. He'd known her long and well enough to recognize the face she made when she would get lost in her own thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, nothing.” She looked sheepish, lips pressing together in a straight line as she shrugged her shoulders. But, of course, Nini knew that he knew her long and well enough to also know when things weren’t just _nothing_. She briefly met his expectant eyes with a roll of her own, causing him to smile — she hated when he was right. “A long time ago, my Lola once told me that you can see any and everything in the stars. I— I… _never_ exactly knew what she meant by that.” She shrugged again. “I guess I’m still just trying to figure it out.”

And Ricky knew Nini, knew that she had tendencies to overthink things, but he couldn’t help but feel as if she was making it out to be more complicated than it actually was. “Well, what do you see in the stars?”

“What?”

“When you look up — _when you look at them_ — what do you see?”

She grinned at Ricky, clicking her tongue at him. “Besides your brilliant, megawatt smile?” she winked teasingly, laughing when he pushed at her shoulder lightly. “Alright, alright. I see…”

She twisted her lips in concentration. “I see the sparkling water at Echo Park Lake. You know, like how when the sun shines down on the lake it makes the water sparkle. And —” she squinted as she took in the sight above her, “I see the jewelry displayed in the windows of Harry Winston on 5th Avenue in New York — those diamonds are just gorgeous.”

As she continued, Ricky too tried to think of what he saw in the stars, yet his mind was drawing a blank as he was admittedly distracted by her ramblings. He decided to just listen to her continue to list the things that she saw when she looked at the stars, such as the nighttime illumination of the Eiffel Tower and the fireworks at Disneyland that they would always stay to watch whenever they went together.

Every time she turned her head to engage with him, making eye contact with him in the process, he noticed how the moonlight shining above the two of them cast a wondrous flicker in her eyes.

Ricky had always taken note of Nini’s big brown eyes. After attending a caricature class one weekend during the spring semester of their freshman year, she had forced him to name his favorite physical feature of hers, and he, naturally, had said her eyes. She had become so bashful that he teased she would have put the dwarf to shame, which only made her poke fun at how cheesy he could be. But he always thought there was something about the way her pretty brown eyes were always so soft and warm, how they made him feel welcomed whenever he went to her for advice.

If he even thinks back to when they first knew each other, when they had fought over their schools, he had taken notice of how they could also be demanding and unrelenting. But through all of this, he noticed how her eyes always had this glint to them, and how they shined like magic.

And as Ricky looked in her eyes as they lay on the patio, they once again had that twinkle. When he turned his head again to look up, he faltered for a moment, as he realized he saw the same twinkle in her eyes reflected in all of the stars in the sky.

\---

Ricky called Nini one day after having finished his work for his internship to see if she wanted to go for a sunset hike at The Trailheads about forty-five minutes out from where they lived. He had been hired to work remotely for a record label that was based in Los Angeles for the summer, and even though it was mostly administrative work, he was still thrilled to be given an opportunity to even intern there, hopeful that down the line it would turn into something more. He had thrown himself into his work for the past couple of weeks since that night at Red’s house, and hadn’t really ventured outside to do anything fun.

“Your idea of fun is hiking in ninety degree weather?” Nini had said over the phone.

Admittedly, fun wasn’t the only thing that was lacking in his summer so far. He hadn’t been outside for more than maybe three hours over the course of the past three weeks, spending his free time catching up on sleep he lost during the semester and re-watching _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ on Netflix. So what better way would there be to get some much needed fresh air than hiking up to a one-thousand, six-hundred and seventy-nine foot summit?

Ricky planned to ask both Red and Nini to go, but Red wasn’t able to, proudly stating he had a date with the cute barista from their favorite coffee spot that had given him their number the previous week. Ricky knew Nini wasn’t the biggest proponent of physical activity, nevermind in the hot, arid heat of Utah summers, and even though they would be going in the evening, the temperature wasn’t going to let up: the low for that night was going to be eighty-two degrees.

Ricky had been afraid that she maybe wouldn’t go if Red wasn’t going but she agreed, telling him that she too felt cooped up inside (she was taking two online classes over the summer to ease the load of her double major, which would help clear up her schedule for her to get an internship during their senior year). “Pick me up in twenty. And don’t make me regret this.”

“We’ll make it fun.” Although his promise fell a bit short when she tripped halfway up on the trail to the summit, causing her to get a number of scratches on her legs from skidding across the rocky-dirt terrain, the smile she gave him as he poured water onto her bleeding knees made his chest warm.

They had made it to the top right as the sun was setting, and after taking a number of pictures of the sight (and after Ricky had taken dozens of pictures of Nini — _“For Instagram!”_ — they made it back down just as any light from the setting sun completely left the sky).

They sat quietly on the hood of Ricky’s car. He had been going through his camera roll, looking at the pictures he had taken earlier, when he realized Nini had been almost inaudibly counting to herself.

“One hundred ninety-two, one hundred ninety-three, one hundred ninety —”

“Are you trying to count the stars?” he blurted out.

“Um… maybe?” The darkness didn’t prevent him from knowing that her cheeks had tinged red; he would not have had to even look at her to know that. “Don’t laugh.”

He raised his hands in defence but couldn’t help the chuckle that left his mouth. “Sorry.” She rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at him playfully before she focused her attention once more on the sky.

Nini spoke up after a few quiet minutes. “It’s just so cool, right?” He noticed her small smile as they kept their gazes towards the sky. Being that they were a little out of the inner city, the sky was a little bit clearer, with many more stars visible. The lights from the stars illuminated on her face, making her glow. “I just love looking up at the night sky, and looking at all of the stars. When I was little, and things at home were… well.” Her smile faded, if only ever so slightly, but Ricky of course caught onto the slight change in her demeanor.

Ricky knew that Nini didn’t necessarily have an easy life at home growing up. Like his own parents, her moms had gone through a bit of a rough patch when she was in middle school. Unlike his parents, though, her moms had been able to come out on the other side of things together. After having been friends for a couple of months, one drunken night Ricky and Nini had somehow gone from talking about Channing Tatum in the Magic Mike movies and male strippers ( _“Ricky, would you ever become a stripper?” “Fuck yeah”_ ) to having a deep conversation about their childhoods. She had told him how her moms fighting had taken a toll on her growing up, but that she was glad that with the help of therapy they were able to work things out and salvage their relationship, having been nothing but happy ever since.

When Ricky told her his parents weren’t as lucky and split up, she ended up crying in his arms, feeling so bad that she had kept going on about the fact that her moms were able to work through their issues right to his face. He assured her he thought nothing of the kind, but when she wouldn’t let up (the alcohol probably didn’t help), he just let her cry it out. When all of Nini’s tears had dried, they went to Denny’s to eat chocolate chip pancakes.

_‘Midnight breakfast’_ Nini had cheered before taking a bite of her pancake, face still slightly puffy from crying. All Ricky could do was lift his own fork in cheers, silently taking a bite as he looked at her still clearly guilt ridden face as she cut her pancakes up. He reached out to stop her, squeezing her smaller hand with his own to get her attention, giving her a look that said, _Please don’t worry about it, please don’t be upset._

With his hand encompassing hers, Ricky thought about how the girl had become one of his closest friends out of their whole friend group, despite the fact that he had only known her for a couple of months. In that short amount of time, Nini had proved herself to be probably the greatest person he had ever met (truthfully, she still remains the greatest person he had ever met).

He thought about how Nini was always thinking of other people, and putting others before herself. Like the time she had stayed up late helping Gina draft pointers for a debate for her government class, or when she lied to Ashlyn’s about how her turmeric cookies had come out good when they definitely hadn’t (she had felt so bad for lying that she confessed the truth the next day and offered to help Ashlyn try out a different recipe). And then in that moment, the two of them sat in a booth at Denny’s at nearly one in the morning, the red from her eyes just starting to fade. Ricky always thought she was too nice for her own good, but that night he realized just how big Nini’s heart really was.

Ricky stayed quiet as she continued on. “I would look out my window and try to count as many stars as I could. I’d always lose count so quickly; believe or not, trying to count the stars is actually really hard.” She laughed a little to herself, almost as if she couldn’t believe how silly she had been.

Ricky chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. “Yeah, I believe it.” He was never one to be too interested in space, and he didn’t know that Nini seemed to be very intrigued by it, but for some reason he wasn’t that surprised. In a game of _Most Likely To_ , the group unanimously decided that out of all of them, Nini would be the one to become an astronaut. “I can’t even begin to imagine the number of stars there are. Is it quantifiable? Like _is_ there a finite number of stars or should it just be considered infinite? I don’t know, does that make sense?” He laughed to himself. “I don’t think that makes sense. Honestly, space just kind of freaks me out.”

Nini hummed. “I guess it is kind of scary.” He turned to her to watch her eyes flicker over the tens of thousands of hundred thousands of millions of tens of millions of stars in question, noticing that her expression suggested her mind was wandering. He didn’t have to wonder what her mind had wandered to for long. “Want to hear a cute story? My first grade teacher’s husband would call her every school day at eleven on the dot, during our snack break, just to check in with her. They were old, which meant that he not only spoke very loud, but she also didn’t know how to use her cell phone.” Nini giggled, “She would hold it so far from her ear that we could always hear their conversation.”

They sat close to each other on the hood of his car, lined up from shoulder to hip to thigh to knee. At one point while she was talking, Ricky had turned his head to look at her. His face was mere inches from the side of hers, so that if he moved only an inch or two closer, the tip of his nose would just about graze her cheek. When he realized just how close he was, he decidedly shifted his own gaze back towards the stars.

“Everyday he would just call to say hello. And every time they said their goodbyes, he would tell her, _‘Anne, I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.’_ ” She smiled sheepishly. “The other kids used to think it was silly and gross, but I always thought it was so beautiful. And since then I’ve wondered what it’d be like to have someone who loves you that much.” Nini then looked at Ricky, her eyes meeting his. “Because, it’s like you said... you can’t even begin to imagine the number of stars there are in the sky.” She sighed dreamily, “I guess that’s why I used to spend so much time trying to count the stars, so I could figure out how much love a person would have to have for someone else in order to say that they loved them more than all of the stars in the sky.”

His lips parted as he took in her words, imaging a young Nini gazing out of the window of her bedroom, starry eyes meeting starry skies. She continued, “I know, I know. It was a metaphor, I know. But still,” she shrugged her shoulders as if it was the most nonsensical thing in the world, “it’s kind of beautiful, don’t you think?”

At that instant Ricky felt almost as if his heart had become ten times heavier, the unfamiliar feeling eventually taking over his whole chest. It was unexpected and inexplicable, and while he didn’t know what to think and he also didn’t take his eyes off of her as he agreed, “Yeah, it is.”

\---

Ricky was getting sick. At least, that’s what he told himself in the days after he and Nini had gone for that hike. He felt as if something had shifted in him after their conversation that night, but he was too anxious to think about the implications. All he knew was that, of late, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation. Couldn’t stop thinking about the stupid stars. ~~Couldn’t stop thinking about Nini.~~

The next few times they met up, Ricky began to take note of more things he noticed about Nini that he hadn’t before. But yet, he couldn’t explain _why_. They had been friends for so long, so why had he only begun to notice these things now?

When they had gone to try a new coffee shop that opened, he noticed how she would fix her coffee in a particular way. One sugar packet, stir, splash of almond milk, stir, second sugar packet. The next few times they had gone back to the same coffee shop she had done this without fail. He wondered if she was always mixing her coffee like that, and he had just never paid mind to it. After all, it was just coffee. But even so, he noticed.

Ricky also noticed how she had the smallest of dimples that appeared just to the right side of her lips when she smiled; somehow something that was barely noticeable was all he could see whenever she would smile at him now.

He noticed how she was always unconsciously touching the arch of her right eyebrow when she was reading something. When questioned, she said she had been doing it since highschool; it was sort of a nervous tick that helped her concentrate.

The things he was now paying a lot of mind to were things that, before, he wouldn’t have even probably noticed, let alone actually stop to think about.

Nevertheless, whenever he was feeling “sick” he would brew a cup of green tea (Nini had gotten him on to the drink), telling himself he would feel better in the morning. He almost never did.

\---

It was mid July when Nini called Ricky one Saturday morning with a plea for him to go with her to a planetarium that was right on the outskirts of Salt Lake; she had heard about it from one of her moms’ old friends. He had said yes almost immediately, taking them both by surprise when he agreed before she could even finish her sentence. When questioned about his reaction, Ricky had told her that he had just had a little too much coffee that morning, making him more energized and jumpy than usual. She didn’t need to know that he had been staring at his not even touched, full cup of coffee on the table in front of him for the duration of their phone call.

Neither of them had ever been to a planetarium before, and Ricky guessed that Nini had thought it fitting to get him to come with her so that he could get over what she teased as his fear of space. “I don’t have a fear of space, I just think it’s... freaky.”

“Yeah, sure.” She clicked her tongue sarcastically and then grabbed his wrist, him nearly tripping over a rock as he tried to keep up with Nini as she practically sprinted to get inside.

Seeing how excited she was to see the exhibit made him happy, but the part of him that hoped she kept bouncing her knee in the car because she was excited (or even nervous) to be going with him was replaced with doubt.

In a matter of two minutes he somehow had convinced himself that he was just an accessory on their adventure today, that she was nice to ask him to come with her, but that in reality she was more so excited to be going in the first place, his presence not exactly doing anything for her mood per se. In a matter of ten seconds he wrote himself off, realizing he was being an idiot; they were _friends_ , of course she would be glad to go with him. Why wouldn't she be?

Although initially Ricky had been neutral to the fact that they were going to visit a planetarium (and no, not because he was scared of outer space, thank you very much), and just glad to be spending time with Nini, he was blown away by the inside of the space (pun intended).

The projection system displayed a hyper-realistic view of the planets, nebulae, galaxies, and most importantly, all of the stars. It was truly unlike anything he had ever seen before. And from the look on Nini’s face, she felt the same.

Despite the fact that it was a Saturday during the summer, the planetarium wasn’t as packed as they thought it would be. They sat in silence for the first couple of minutes they were there, both too enraptured by the sight above them. Ricky’s neck ached just by looking at the way Nini’s bent so that her head was positioned for her to look straight up at the ceiling. She didn’t move the position of her head for five straight minutes as her eyes raked over the cosmic wonder above them.

“What do you think?” She had asked him after a couple more minutes of literal “star” gazing.

“It’s amazing.” He replied truthfully. “Seriously, like… so breathtaking. Thank you for asking me to come with you.”

“Of course.” The smile she gave him was so big that his heart skipped a quick beat, almost quick enough that he might have missed it. “Thank you for coming,” she nudged his side playfully, “I know the big, bad universe scares you.”

“You are never going to let me live that down, huh?”

“Never. Besides, what do you find so scary about it anyway?”

“I don’t know. It’s just so vast, so… unknown? Like it goes on forever and ever and like, where does it stop? Also, it can kill us.” He thought to himself, before adding, “And, aliens.”

“You’re an idiot,” she retorted without an inkling of malice, “but I guess you’re right. It makes you think about how big the entire universe is, how big the space-time continuum is, and how small you are in comparison, which in retrospect _is_ kind of scary.” As if it was an afterthought, she added on in a whisper. “But at the same time, I think it’s breathtaking. As a concept, that is.”

His full attention was on her once more, and he found himself realizing they took this position quite often when they discussed space. Her looking up with his eyes trained on the side of her face. “How so?” he said equally as softly, lips barely moving.

“Out of the entire timeline of the universe, out of everywhere we could be on this planet, looking up at the same sky that we share with every other person on Earth, at this moment, we’re here.” She turned her head to meet his eyes. “I don’t know, I guess it also ties into fate a little too. Out of everything, out of everywhere, everyone… we’re living this moment in this exact place, at this exact time, with each other.”

And dear God, if he didn’t know that he was already in love with Nina Salazar-Roberts before, he sure as hell did now.

\---

In the days following their visit to the planetarium, Ricky felt like he was going into meltdown. What do you do when you realize you are hopelessly in love with someone you think the world of, someone who makes up the other half of one of the most important friendships that has possibly ever come into your life?

Well, if you’re Ricky, you think back on said relationship; every aspect of it, every moment shared, every laugh, every cry, every study session, every adventure, every time you’ve looked at the stars. And you do all of this while eating questionable amounts of sour candy as your third re-watch of _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ plays in the background, serving no actual purpose other than providing the background noise for your thoughts about a girl whose eyes you see in a sky full of stars.

He thought about how she would always laugh at his jokes, no matter how terrible they were. How she was so nice to everyone she met, always willing to go the extra mile for anyone who had ever shown her even one ounce of kindness. And sometimes even for people who haven’t. He thought about how her cheeks would tinge pink when she was embarrassed, or angry, or tipsy, or when she received a compliment, and even when she gave one. He thought about the slope of her nose, and her cupid’s bow.

It didn’t take much for him to realize that everything he was thinking about Nini was everything that he loved about her.

At first, it was hard for him to process. With his parents’ failed marriage to thank, Ricky had always been iffy about love. He thought it could be something so unknown, and so scary. And he saw it as something elusive, and fragile; something hard to not only find, but also keep. Because even when you are lucky enough to find love, real love, it might not always last. And that idea had always scared the living shit out of him.

But if what he was feeling for Nini taught him anything, it taught him that love wasn’t what he thought it to be. Love was powerful, all-encompassing. Something that made your toes curl and head swirl. Something that felt like sun showers in the spring and cool breezes in the summer. Like stepping on crunchy leaves in the fall and catching snowflakes on your tongue in the winter. And to him, it was everything.

He couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t love her. But for something that felt so intrinsic to him, so second-nature, Ricky sure did like to nitpick anyway.

There was the fact that he hadn’t _actually_ ever been in love before. Sure, he had a few flings with some guys and girls in the past, but none of them were ever serious, which is why he told himself that the fact that he loved Nini should be terrifying for him. How could he know if he didn’t have anything to exactly base it on?

But the thing was, when he realized his feelings he wasn’t even scared like he thought he would be. Sure, in the beginning it might have felt a little surreal and hard to process, but he had not for one second been afraid of the fact that he loved Nini. As much as he thought he would be, and as much as he thought he should be, he wasn’t scared. He wasn’t scared of love. Wasn’t scared of being in love with Nini.

That was until, however, he realized that she most definitely didn’t even remotely feel the same way about him. _Then_ he was scared.

He had been too caught up in his emotions and what he was feeling to even stop and think about Nini, and whether or not she would or could reciprocate his love.

The fact of the matter is, he was so in love with Nini he didn’t know what to do with himself. He scoffed at himself when he would think about how he must be going around looking like a lovesick puppy. But then, he would think about how when he looked in her eyes and saw the infinite number of stars in the sky, he thought his heart couldn’t ever beat more for any one else. He was so completely hers it physically hurt. Especially because he didn’t know if she would ever be his.

\---

The next few times they met up, it was getting harder and harder for Ricky to keep his cool in front of Nini. He felt like he was bursting at the seams (with both love and adoration as well as anxiety and nausea). Between bites of sandwiches, walks to the park, and quips at the TV screen, he felt his resolve crumbling. He knew she’d be able to figure something was wrong with him sooner or later, and sooner she did.

“Ricky, what’s wrong?” She asked after he accumulated the thinnest sheen of sweat on his forehead, which she must have thought was odd considering the fact that they were calmly seated at her living room table putting a jigsaw puzzle together.

“Hmm? Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, and he knew she barely believed him, but he was nonetheless grateful that she didn’t push it.

He could tell that she was noticing something was up, and she tried to nonchalantly get him to tell her what was going on with him for the past two weeks. Figuring that not only was he having a hard time being around her in general, and then having her ask him what was going on with him was even harder, he made an executive decision to try to distance himself from her.

It started by not answering her texts, and then only giving vague excuses as to why he couldn’t FaceTime or talk on the phone with her, to lying to her about not being able to meet up with her. Claiming he was sick or overly swamped with work, both of which both of them knew was not true.

One day Nini had finally had enough. They were sitting at a bench in the park they visited often, she had insisted he meet up with her after he was avoiding her for long enough, and as hard as he tried, he couldn’t get out of it. Things were fine at first, but conversation quickly became lulled and awkward. It was something that was so novel to their friendship, and it was clear as day to see that _something_ had changed.

And it seemed Nini was intent on finding out just what that was, even at the cost of Ricky’s sanity. She abruptly stood up, standing tall in front of him as he stayed seated. “Okay, Ricky. What the hell is your deal? Did I do something? Just tell me, you don’t have to ignore me or lie to me just to get some space from me.”

“What? I — no —”

“— and don’t even bother trying to come up with excuses.”

He managed to splutter out a few words about how he had no idea what she was talking about, albeit to no success. Ricky quickly realized he wasn't going to get out of this in one piece. Either he had to tell her and she rejected him, or he didn’t tell her and she reject him for other reasons, such as lying to her and avoiding her and being an awful friend. Either way, they weren’t going to get out of this the same way, and either way, his heart was going to be broken.

His sentences were broken, a telltale sign that any ounce of confidence he once had went down the drain as she stood there in front of him, dainty hands clasped together in front of her. And it was Nini. The same Nini who he’s known for three years but felt like a lifetime. The same Nini who he felt as if he could go to for anything. The same Nini he’s adored since she talked his ear off about piano chord progressions, or maybe since even before then.

And as he thought about that Nini, the same Nini who stood in front of him, he knew he owed it to the both of them: to tell her the truth and to fully accept the truth himself, even if he was scared shitless. “Do you— do you remember that night— that night we went to the Trailheads? When you tried counting the stars?”

Her confusion was evident, only making his heart beat faster and louder against his ribcage. “I remember.”

He stood from his spot on the bench. “You had said you wondered how much— how much love a person would have to have for someone else in order to say that they loved them more than all of the stars in the sky.” His heart dropped down to his feet when he saw her confusion only grow. “I wanted to tell you that, well, it’s a lot. Like… _a lot_ a lot.”

“Ricky… I don’t know where you’re exactly going with this.”

He could feel the strained smile on his lips, and he swallowed harshly as he tried and failed to keep his tears at bay, a couple managing to spill onto his cheeks. He couldn’t tell if he was crying _because_ he was spilling his heart out or because she didn’t seem to realize _that_ he was spilling his heart out.

“I think I’m in love with you?” She perked up, eyes widening immediately, but he didn’t notice as he was too busy wringing his fingers together and focusing in on the space above her head as he tried to quickly figure out where he was going with this. Ricky nodded his head to himself as a means of encouragement, and sighed, his teary eyes meeting hers. It really was now or never. “No, yeah, I am in love with you, Nini. I— I— love you. I love you. I love you so much. So much that sometimes —” The words came out breathy, his voice catching in the back of his throat so harshly he had to swallow before continuing, “— that sometimes it feels like I can’t even breathe.”

And even as she stood there, shell-shocked, mouth open, not saying a word, his heart only grew tenfold.That’s all it seemed to do nowadays anyways, but he guessed that that was what it was like to love someone, to love Nina Salazar-Roberts. He willed her to say something, anything to put his racing mind and his poor heart at rest. But when all she managed was a breathy squeak from the back of her throat, all he wanted to do was get out of there. “I’m— I’m sorry if I’m springing this on you, but I just had to tell you. Even though I know I could be very well ruining everything right now, keeping this inside was killing me.” With one last teary-eyed look at her star-ridden eyes, he turned around.

“Ricky.” He shook his head, his steps matched his heart rate as he quickened his pace. “Ricky!” Her footsteps echoed behind him as she tried to catch up, but he only kept walking. He finally took off in a run when Nini called his name for a third time, because honestly, he couldn’t bear the thought of what she would say to him. How she would tell him that he was flattered, but that she didn’t feel the same. How she didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. Just thinking about her saying that was enough to send him into a spiral of his own self-despair, but actually hearing it from her? That’s not just something he thought he could endure.

\---

“I need to talk to you.”

Ricky had successfully avoided Nini’s calls and text messages for all of three days before Red was onto him, storming into his house (why did Ricky ever give him a spare key again?) and barging into his room before Ricky’s alarm even had the chance to go off.

“What the fuck are you doing here? And so early too?” His voice was groggy, throat scratchy from just waking up mere seconds before Red walked in. And as probably the remnant of crying himself to sleep last night, but Red didn’t have to know that — _A Walk To Remember_ was Ricky’s go-to when he was feeling anxious and sad and like he needed a big cry. And if Ricky had turned the TV off twenty minutes into the movie to actually cry about his predicament with Nini, then well, Red didn’t have to know that either.

“I went out for a morning run. And I’m here to do _this_ ,” he leaned over the side of Ricky’s bed to deliver a swift whack to the side of him head, eliciting a plethora of groans and complaints from Ricky, swinging his legs to hang over the side of his bed and sitting up in the process, mumbling about how it was rude to barge into people’s house, wake them up, and then physically assault them.

“Oh please, you deserve much more than that.” If the once-over Red gave him was any indication, Ricky presumed, if it was even possible, that he must have looked worse than he felt. And he was feeling pretty horrible.

His mind hadn’t stopped racing, thoughts of his friendship with Nini and his parents’ divorce plagued his mind during the day and images of stars appeared every time he closed his eyes in an effort to get some sleep. After tossing and turning for three hours the first night, he decided he might as well just look out his window to look at the real stars. That didn’t help either.

All he could see was Nini, especially her eyes and the sparkle of the entirety of the galaxy within them. He probably hadn’t gotten more than four hours of sleep the past two nights, with thoughts about outer space and Nini blurring into his own self-deprecating thoughts about his complete idiocy for even telling her. But yet, how could he even think to not tell her and live in a state of perpetual angst very much like the one he was in now?

Ricky brushed past Red to make his way out of his room and to the bathroom without a word, putting a shirt on in the process. He slabbed some toothpaste onto his toothbrush. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He gave Red, who had positioned himself in the doorway, a pointed look before shoving the brush into his mouth, scrubbing away at his teeth incessantly.

“I’m talking about Nini!” Despite the fact that she hadn’t left his mind since, well really, since he realized he was in love with her, (and maybe even before that) hearing her name still made him jump. How could he ever be friends with her again when he nearly choked on his toothpaste just from hearing her name. “You’re an idiot, do you know that?”

Ricky rinsed his mouth out. “Yeah, I know.”

“Well, if you think I’m just going to let you off the hook while she’s been worried for the past two days trying to get in touch with you to talk to you — wait what?”

“I know, Red, I know. Don’t worry, I’m not exactly proud of it either.”

Red followed closely behind as Ricky made his way back to his bedroom. “What the hell happened? She wouldn’t tell me. Did you guys get into a fight?”

Ricky scoffed, “I wish.”

“You what?” Red’s face scrunched in confusion.

Ricky took a deep breath in, letting it out as he turned to face Red. “I told her I was in love with her.”

_“You what?”_

Ricky let his head hang down, hands pressing against both sides to alleviate the pressure that was already building up, not ready for whatever this conversation with Red would bring about. “Stop,” he whined, not willing and able to listen to whatever speech Red was inevitably going to give him.

“Hold on. You’re telling me that you finally tell the girl you’ve practically been in love with for the past three years that you love her and then you give her complete radio silence. What the hell, Ricky?” Ricky’s mouth dropped in astonishment.

“‘What the hell Ricky?’ What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean _‘girl I’ve been in love with for the past three years’_!?”

“Oh please, Ricky. You look at her like she puts the fucking stars in the sky,” Ricky involuntarily flinched at the metaphor; stars seemed to be a sensitive topic lately, “you always have. I just can’t believe it took you so long to realize it.”

Ricky couldn’t believe it either. He gave Red a weak smile, “Realize that I was in love with her or realize that I look at her _‘like she puts the fucking stars in the sky’_?”

“Both.”

And yeah, Ricky should have figured already that they were one in the same.

\---

As he moped around his room for the rest of the day after Red left, Ricky finally took some time to think.

At first, he mostly thought about how horrible he felt for ignoring Nini, but still couldn't bring himself to respond to any of the calls or texts because he just felt too embarrassed and ashamed and in love to even think about her, let alone hear her lovely voice or, even worse, look her in the eyes.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from thinking about her, and so that’s what he did. At least, that’s what he did when he wasn’t focusing on his work for the internship, although, if he was honest, even that was getting harder to do without imagining nighttime skies and planetarium projections and a particular girl whose eyes he saw reflected in the stars.

\---

The next afternoon, Ricky was finishing up his work for the day, which consisted of trying to distract himself from everything by watching videos of exploding stars (which in hindsight, probably didn’t do much to help). Halfway through the record label’s weekly _Zoom_ meeting that he was meant to be paying attention to, he went on a deep dive into NASA’s online video gallery, becoming too enthralled with the flashes of the supernovas to even notice when the meeting had ended. He was about to click to watch a video titled _SUPERNOVAS: THE SHOCKWAVES OF AN ERUPTING STAR_ when he heard a light knock on his bedroom door. It was his dad, who had taken off from work to clean out their mess of a basement.

His dad came in, brandishing a beat up shoebox under his right arm and a single picture in his left hand. “Rick, look at this.” Ricky leaned over to inspect the image, smiling to himself when he realized it was a picture of him in his room at around five or six years old. He was smiling so wide that his eyes almost looked closed, the gap from his missing front tooth on full display. The picture was taken at night, probably right before he was going to sleep, as he’s sitting criss-cross applesauce on his bed in his Spiderman pajamas. His arm was extended, pointing up to the ceiling. At first he couldn’t tell what he was pointing to, but his mouth formed an “o” as he inspected the image more closely, finally able to make out what they were.

He unabashedly interrupted his dad who had gone on tirade about how hard it used to be to put him to bed when he was younger, and how even though he was getting older, he would always be his little boy. “I used to have those… _things_?” Mike laughed through some of the bittersweet tears that had formed on his waterline; always leave it up to his son to not be able to read the room. “Sorry,” Ricky smiled sheepishly as he gave his father a hug.

“Those ‘things’? You mean the glow in the dark stars that you begged your mother and I for?”

“I- I don’t remember them. I didn’t know I used to have them.”

“What? You used to love them so much. I can’t believe it, you really don’t remember?”

Ricky shook his head no, his own astonishment mirroring his father’s. “No, not at all.”

“Wow…and I thought I was getting old,” Mike joked with his son, nudging his shoulder teasingly. “You know that every night for about a month or so after we first got them for you, you used to count them? There were a total of fifty-three all over the ceiling, but you would usually fall asleep around thirty-five.”

“Wow,” Ricky repeated back to his dad, still looking at the picture in his hands. “Weird.”

Later that night, Ricky inspected the photograph once more. For as long as he could remember, he didn’t like space, and didn’t really pay it any mind. But learning that he used to have glow in the dark stars on his ceiling that he used to count was… indescribable. He recalled what Nini had told him that night on the hood of his car, how she used to count the stars when she was little. Knowing that this parallel between the two of them existed at some point in time was mind-blowing to him, only proving to solidify the already strong bond he felt he shared with Nini. Of course, she had tried counting the real stars, which was probably a testament to how, even when they were children, she had more spunk and enthusiasm, and was the more adventurous out of the two.

Even so, just the knowledge that he too did something along the lines of what she also used to do was enough to propel himself to his window to look at the stars, the real stars, embracing the starry eyes that he saw with open arms.

He wondered if there had ever been a moment where the two of them sat in their respective rooms across town to count the stars at the same time. How peculiar that fifteen years later they would find themselves counting the stars at the same time once more, this time only together. And then Ricky thought, _yeah, maybe fate and the space-time continuum was a beautiful thing after all._

\---

Five days after he had confessed his love to Nini, Ricky had gone to the grocery store at the insistence of his father, who said something about how he was tired of seeing Ricky moping around when he wouldn’t even tell him what had happened. Ricky figured his father must have realized that his behavior had something to do with Nini, because when his dad had asked how Nini was at dinner one night, Ricky completely froze and, after ten painful minutes of awkward silence, excused himself to his room. Mike Bowen knew his son, and he knew that his son didn’t open up so quickly or easily; that would come in time.

But he really _was_ tired of Ricky not taking any initiative to talk to Nini about his feelings (turns out Mike Bowen knew his son extremely well, and recognized his lovesick puppy dog eyes the moment he had asked about Nini at the dinner table). He figured sending Ricky out to do something other than work and mope would do him well, and that maybe the universe would send him a sign. He had told Ricky that much when he sent him out the door with a little push on his back, but he was only met with annoyed mutterings of what kind of sign the universe would even send in a _grocery store_.

Ricky perused the pasta aisle for the alleged chickpea pasta that his father wanted to try for dinner that night. Not too far from him was a woman musing between Marinara sauce and Alfredo sauce, and her little boy that was probably no more than two years old was seated in the shopping cart next to her. The boy had dropped (read: launched) his stuffed animal, a purple platypus, and it landed right next to Ricky’s feet.

He bent down to retrieve the stuffed animal for the boy, and handed it over to him with a small smile. Ricky noticed that the boy was holding onto a sticker book in one hand as he accepted the plush with the other. The boy’s mother tutted him, “What do you say, Jamie?”

She and Ricky laughed in unison when her son just stared back at Ricky with a completely straight face. Just as the mother thanked Ricky on her son’s behalf, the boy peeled off a sticker from his book and held it out to Ricky. Despite the fact that the boy’s face was still completely void of any real emotion, Ricky took it to be the boy's own form of thanks.

Taking the sticker from the boy, Ricky stilled. The sticker was of a cartoon Tyrannosaurus Rex smiling as it proudly held a little telescope; the text bubble coming out from its mouth read _“Shoot for the stars!”_

Turns out, the universe would send _that_ sign.

Ricky looked back to the boy only to see him already looking at him with the same blank expression as before. He placed the sticker right over his heart as he quietly thanked the boy and bid him and his mother goodbye, hoping that it would bring him the courage to do just what the sticker said.

\---

Ricky wasn’t keeping count, but it had been eight days since he confessed his love to Nini. Eight days since he had last seen or talked to her. Although they were coming in less frequently, the texts and calls hadn’t ceased. He had thought about answering her when she called him close to midnight the previous night, the stars shining outside his window behind him acting as encouragement, but all he could do was watch as his phone rang and rang.

While his phone was ringing, Ricky had kept his eyes focused on his contact picture for her. It was a picture he had taken of her in front of some fairy lights she had strung around her room in Los Angeles. She had been so excited to get them, and was proud of herself for putting them up and configuring them herself. Not moving his eyes from the screen of his phone, he had let out a sound between a scoff and a laugh at himself, just realizing now how the focus and lighting of the picture made the fairy lights behind her look blurry, kind of like distant stars.

So, at the end of the eighth day since confessing his love to Nini, Ricky found himself reaching for his phone on his bedside table as he lay down on his bed in the dark of his room. He scrolled through his camera roll, going to the cluster of photos he had taken that night Nini set up the fairy lights in her room at her apartment in LA. She had the most eager smile on her face when she had answered the door, beckoning him to close his eyes as she led him to her room.

He remembered how the lights lit her room up wonderfully, but distinctly remembers thinking that Nini’s smile had almost put the lights to shame.

Even so, he had quickly grabbed his phone from his pocket to snap a couple of pictures of the setup, telling her it was too artsy to not photograph. Sometime after the third or fourth picture he had taken, Nini jumped into the shot, smiling for the camera as she stood in front of her fairy lights. He looked at that particular picture, the same picture that he had made her contact image in his phone as soon as they sat down in front of her laptop to watch _Monk._ The lit fairy lights had cast a gentle glow around her, a kind of warm radiance that enveloped her and highlighted her features.

Although the lights in the picture had reminded him of those tiny celestial bodies, he couldn’t help but think that he much preferred the actual stars (and, of course, the ones in her eyes).

He sat up in his bed, scooting over to the right side to look out his window. More stars were visible than usual, and he huffed as he rested his head against the glass while his eyes flitted around the sky. It was at that moment, as he looked up to the sky for what felt like the millionth time that summer, the eyes of the girl he knew and loved twinkling back at him, that he felt something inside of him shift once more.

Ricky used to be scared of space, of the vast unknown that came along with it, but now looking out at the stars, he felt something else along with his fear. Something almost reassuring.

He wondered if that’s what being in love felt like. The idea of giving yourself to someone, allowing someone to hold your heart in their hands, could be scary and unknown like space too; you don’t know what that person could do to your heart, and whether or not they would want your love forever. He was reminded of his own parents, and how, despite the love they once shared, their relationship had fallen apart; their love hadn’t lasted.

But also, gazing at the person you love, as Ricky was doing now via the stars (because, let’s be honest, it’s been long established that she was all he saw when he looked up at the stars), could feel like something so grounding and close and wonderful.

And that meant that love could be all of those things too. If that was the case, then he really shouldn’t be afraid of it. But he figured even if some part of him still was afraid of love, he didn’t want to be anymore.

He turned his gaze away from the window and to the wall opposite his bed. In typical Ricky fashion, there was a t-shirt of his strewn across his desk chair, and he made a mental note to himself to tidy up his room the next day. Upon closer inspection (read: squinting his eyes in the dark to try to see instead of just turning on the lamp on his bedside table), he realized it was the shirt he had worn to the supermarket the other day. In the dark of his room he could see the faint image of the sticker the young boy had given him still tacked on his shirt, the cartoon T-Rex telling him to _“Shoot for the Stars!”_

And when he once more looked back to the picture of Nini on his phone, he realized two things. One, that he was an idiot. Two, that all this time, space had been a metaphor for love in his mind; his feelings towards space only echoed his feelings towards love. The second realization only reiterated the first one even more.

But it also drove him to shoot up out of bed, out the front door and towards the girl that he loved.

Ricky’s knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel of his car, feelings of excitement and nervousness and utter endearment for Nini just about bursting throughout his body. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself to no avail, so he instead just focused on the drive towards Nini’s house, the stars and the moon above (and the street lamps, of course) lighting his way.

\---

By the time Ricky pulled up in front of Nini’s house, he realized how much he had overestimated his confidence level. It seemed that the sudden burst of courage he had gotten from a sticker of all things had faded, and all he was left with was the pounding of his heart in his throat and sweating palms.

He tried to get himself to calm down, reminding himself that he didn’t want to be afraid anymore, but despite his efforts he couldn’t help but still harbor some of those feelings.

As he sat in his car, Ricky felt like he was experiencing all of the motions of the past couple of weeks all over again. Coming home from school for the summer, hanging out with Nini, the many star talks they had, the moment he realized he was in love with her, the moment he told her, the moment he ran away in cowardice.

Finally he was brought to the past eight days. And he thought about what Red told him, and about the glow in the dark stars he used to have in his room, and about that silly little sticker from the boy in the supermarket. And now. And how everything brought him to this moment. To Nini.

_Of course._ It was just Nini. The same Nini he had adored since they first met. The Nini that he spent hours talking with and went on adventures with and resonated with and laughed with and cried with and enjoyed life with.

Ricky was in the middle of giving himself a pep talk and running through what he was going to say to her when he heard a knock on the passenger side window. “Ricky?” Nini’s voice was muffled through the window. “What are you doing?”

He swallowed, jaw constricting under the clammy skin of his face. He wondered how much his complexion was giving away the total and utter anxiety he was feeling at that moment. Shoot for the stars, he thought as he nodded to himself before finally getting out of his car and making his way to Nini.

“Ricky.” Nini said as she looked him up and down. “Ricky, you’re not wearing any pants.” His eyes widened before looking down, realizing that in his rush to get to her he had forgotten to put some pants on over his boxers.

He groaned in embarrassment as he stared down at his slippers, his cheeks and ears turning pink. _Nice one, Ricky._ He thought to himself. _Off to a good start already._ It was then that he noticed the garbage bag she was holding. He recalls her telling him once that growing up, she would often forget to bring the garbage out before the days they were picked up, not remembering to take them out until really late at night.

She half-heartedly giggled as she shook her head in what he would describe as deprecating endearment, but he noticed her face morph as a forlorn expression overtook her features, sad, starry eyes looking right into his. “What are you doing here?” She didn’t wait for an answer as she moved past him to put the bag into the can right on the curb in front of her house.

After securing the lid Nini turned back to face him, arms crossed and lips pursed in an effort to keep the tears that he could already see forming in her eyes at bay. He tried to formulate a response but not a sound left his lips, so she continued. “Haven’t talked to you in a bit,” she tip-toed. “But, then again, you’ve been completely ignoring me for the past week.”

He had felt pangs of guilt course through his body each and every day that passed when he was avoiding her, but that guilt could barely compare to actually watching Nini break down. At this point, a few stray tears had spilled over onto her cheeks, and Ricky quite literally had never felt more like a piece of shit. Seeing her attempt to conceal how upset she was but being unable to all the same was enough to break his heart.

Seeing her cry, _because of him_ , felt like the worst thing in the world. And it wasn’t simply because of the fact that he loved her. Of course, seeing the girl that you love cry could be upsetting, but he wasn’t solely thinking of her as the girl that he loved. He was thinking of her as Nini. His close (heck, maybe even best) friend Nini. A friend who he shares countless memories and inside jokes with. A friend who had been there for him in more ways than one. A friend whose presence made his life exponentially happier since she entered it. A friend who he would undoubtedly be lost without.

Despite the fact that, as he stood there like a fool in his boxers, his heart beat and lept and soared with nothing but love for Nina Salazar-Roberts, Ricky told himself that it didn’t even matter anymore that she didn’t feel the same. He needed her in his life, point-blank period. With time, he would nurse his heart and learn to maybe see something else whenever he looked into her eyes, although even he knew that was a long, long shot.

(He thought quickly that maybe he would tell himself to see something more frightening. Like glimmers of the metal from a sunken ship in dark depths of the sea or something scary like that. Although then again, he had learnt to love something he found once scary from looking in her eyes, so who was really to say that they wouldn’t do it again).

Really, all he knew was that he had to have her in his life one way or another.

And so while she may not feel the same, thinking back on their friendship was enough to give him that final push he needed to salvage any semblance of a relationship with her. He knew he had been shitty for running away and for ignoring her texts and calls, and he could only hope she would still want to be friends. Whichever way, he knew he couldn’t lose her from his life completely, and that he would take what he could get. That is, if she chose to forgive him.

“Nini, I’m sorry,” he swallowed thickly, tears already forming in his own eyes. “I’m _so_ sorry. I’ve been an idiot for ignoring you. You really, _really_ , didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s not just that, Ricky. You… you just _shut me out_!” she yelled frustratedly. Nini uncrossed her arms, letting them hang down her sides defeatedly as she looked down at her feet. “How could you say what you said to me, and then run away and pretend as if you hadn’t just told me that you were _in love_ with me?”

“Because in addition to being an idiot I’m also a coward.” He sniffled, causing her to look back at him. “And I was scared. Scared of what you would say, scared of thinking of you —” he cut himself off. _Scared of thinking of you not feeling the same way_ , he thought to himself. And while at first, yeah, he may have been afraid of that, he knew at this point it wasn’t about that anymore. “But I’d be lying if I said that the thought of losing you in my life completely doesn’t scare me more. So, I’m so fucking sorry. For everything.”

They just stared at each other as a few beats of silence passed; Ricky could nearly feel as if each one of the beats were banging against his ribcage. “I forgive you,” Nini said as he let out a small shaky, puff of air, “but I’m still upset with you for running away.”

She slowly nodded her head to herself, almost mentally reassuring herself. About what, he wasn’t exactly sure, as there was a shadow of something he couldn’t quite place that crossed over her face. Nevertheless, he finally let out the breath that he had been holding in relief. “I understand. I’m sorry.”

He was relieved to know that she knew just how sorry he was, despite the fact that she still rolled her eyes slightly in retaliation, as if to say _I know, dumbass_. But she also smiled at him. And it made him lose his breath because, if he was being honest, he didn’t think that after everything she would ever smile at him again.

“So...we’re okay?”

“No.”

Ricky’s heart sunk. “No? Oh.”

But, in typical Nini fashion, she only shook her head at him once more. Then, she crossed the short distance between them before grabbing his face and slotting her lips over his in a firm but chaste kiss.

To say Ricky was taken aback was an understatement, and he was almost frozen in place. He mindfully had to take himself out of his stupor, and he was almost a little too late. Nini broke the kiss and leaned back, moving to retract herself from him, but before she could he mimicked her hands, grabbing her face as his thumbs firmly pressed against her soft cheeks. Eyes staring right into hers, he reconnected their lips slowly, and their mouths parted against each other in blissful relief.

It was all so sweet and saccharine, the both of them smiling into their shared kisses, and Ricky thought he might die right then and there. But then he remembered what then and there entailed, and _who_ it entailed.

So he pulled away, mind racing as he tried to grapple with what he was feeling in that moment and what to say. In the end all he managed was breathless “Oh?”

Nini stood up on her tippy toes, letting her lips ghost his. “You’re an idiot,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him one, two, three more times — for good measure, he supposed. She slid one hand through his hair, fingers slightly raking through his curls before settling on the back of his head in a soft caress. “You didn’t even let me say anything, you know?”

“What?” He was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Nini was in his arms, and that they had just kissed, and that she had been the one to initiate said kiss.

“ _That night_. You just went off without even giving me a chance to say anything,” She eyed him pointedly, “and if you had given me a chance… well, I would have been able to tell you that I was feeling myself falling in love with you.” She shrugged sheepishly, “Honestly, I had been for quite a while.”

“I’m— what?” It came out incredulously, but he beamed all the same. He was struggling to find the words to express his shock at her confession, and his struggle must have shown, based on the way Nini’s eyes lit up even more in delight.

“Idiot,” Nini laughed. “Don’t you know that I absolutely adore you?” And she told him just as much. Telling him how she has thought the world of him for as long as she could remember, even when they had their little two week quib. “Though, you can be a bit dense up here” she tapped the side of his temple with her finger.

Ricky couldn’t drop the smile from his face even if he tried, and it seemed as if he had no control over the tears brimming in his eyes either. Happy tears. Happy _“I’m so in love with you I could cry”_ tears. Nini sniffled too, unable to keep her own at bay. Also happy tears. Happy _“I love you too”_ tears.

Nini wrapped her arms around his neck. “Remember eight days ago when you confessed your love for me?” she asked, giggling at the weary look overtaking Ricky’s face. “You were so cheesy.”

“Hey!” Ricky cried. He tried to sound as if he was offended, but he was sure the curve of his lips against her temple was a dead giveaway; he couldn’t deny he was a sap.“I was trying to be romantic.”

“Because running _away_ from the girl that you just confessed your undying love for is romantic” she teased.

“ _Nini._ ” He drawled, sounding closer to a whine than anything else. “I promise you I will spend every single day for the rest of my life saying sorry for that. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she said, whispering against his lips once more. She broke apart to smile up to him, giving him a slight shrug. “But it was cute.” He sent her what he hoped was a menacing glare. “ _And_ romantic. You were right; it’s a _lot_ of stars.”

“More than all of the stars in the sky,” they recalled together, Ricky immediately calling _“Jinx”_ as soon as they did. Nini only rolled her eyes before bringing his head down so that he would kiss her again.

He did kiss her again, wondering if all of the love and adoration and longing that led up to this moment that he may have very well dreamt up was translating through their kiss. They kissed for what felt like hours and mere seconds at the same time. They kissed and they kissed and they kissed under the millions of stars spread throughout the sky, and then Ricky walked Nini back to her front door. They said goodnight with the promise of meeting up for breakfast in the morning, and he placed one last kiss on her lips before bidding her goodbye.

She waited at her front door as he walked back to his car, waving at him as he pulled away from the front of her house. It was nearing one in the morning at that point, but his mind was racing, thinking back to what had just transpired between him and Nini. He couldn’t wait to kiss her again. He couldn’t wait to love her in a way that he has never ( _and would never_ ) love anyone else.

As he started the drive back to his house, Ricky moved to switch the music from the radio to his bluetooth. For obvious reasons, lately he had been rediscovering an one-hundred and twenty-six song playlist that Nini had once put together for him.

Upon hearing the first few notes of the first song that came on shuffle, Ricky couldn’t help but laugh; a real, genuine, _“I can’t even believe this”_ laugh. It was a familiar song, one he had listened to countless times when it had first come out. Despite the fact that he always loved the song, and that it had always been one of his favorites from the band, he actually hadn’t heard it in a really long time.

He belted along to the song at the top of his lungs, never having resonated with the lyrics more. When the beat dropped, or even exploded, as Ricky thought of it; he couldn't help but imagine that Coldplay was maybe trying to emulate a supernova with those parts of the song that made him bounce around in his seat, “dancing” as much as he could in the confines of the driver’s seat of his car.

_I don't care, go on and tear me apart_

_I don't care if you do ooh ooh_

He exaggerated the _“ooh ooh”_ , lips nearly forming a perfect “o” as he sang along. If the past week, the past summer, the past three years he had spent knowing and then loving Nini had taught him anything, it was that she held his heart in the palm of her hand for a long time. He hadn’t been lying when he had told her that he was so completely hers that it hurt. Even so, it hurt in the very best way.

Ricky had never known love. Never know how it was captivating, all-encompassing, and enthralling it was all at the same time. That it could both make you sing and want to pull your hair out. Not for necessarily anything bad, but just for the sheer fact that it’s how you felt. Like you couldn’t love someone enough, that you were so crazy in love it was tearing you apart. That love was tearing you apart.

As the rest of the verse came around, for the millionth time that summer, he once more looked to the stars to find the person he loved more than anything in the world.

_'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars_

_I think I saw you_


End file.
